Don't call me Shirley

And I'm back...only 1/2 an hour since my last post.

I have to agree w/ Johnny Awesome...the more weight Lohan loses, the bigger her boobs get. My head is spinning...how exactly does that work? The only way I have a chance at being a solid "C" is if I GAIN weight.

In other Lohan news...she's been voted one of the naughtiest people of 2004 along w/ Osama Bin Laden (poll courtesy of heavy.com). I guess flying planes into the World Trade Center and hanging out w/ Paris Hilton really represent evil reincarnated in different forms.

And speaking of Paris...if you're in the market for a coffee table book (for yourself or a loved one), you should check out Confessions of an Heiress. It trumps anything else on my coffee table- guests will push Time and Entertainment Weekly out of the way, shove my history of cinema book to the floor, all to get to this pepto colored abortion. And once you pick it up, you can't put it down. I dare anyone to try.

While on the topic of useless blondes, I dare say that Sienna really likes her ciggies. As in Sienna Miller. As in the Jude Law's girlfriend. Oh, now you know who I'm talking about. More surprising than the not so surprising fact that she wouldn't stop smoking is that she was in New Orleans to accept a Hollywood Life Breakthrough of the Year award for her performance in "Alfie". Me thinks we're starting to use the term "breakthrough" a little too losely. I can only imagine her response when asked to extinguish her cigarette..."B*tch, do you know who I'm dating?" (It's the "Do you know who my father is" of the 21st century).

And I get to leave work early. I'm thrilled.
R.